Years ago, before "Die Hard" came out, action movies were all the same. They had the invincible action hero (who never gets shot, despite hundreds, if not thousands, of bullets flying by), impossibly far-fetched action sequences, bad dialogue, and terrible one-liners (like early in "Predator," when Arnold Schwarzenegger throws a knife at a guy, pinning him against a tree, killing him, and Arnold says "stick around"). Though "Die Hard" changed all that, just about every action movie after it was a variation of it; "Die Hard" in a plane, "Die Hard" on a bus, "Die Hard" on a cruise ship, and so on. With "XXX," it seems like the filmmakers decided to take the action movie genre back to basics, but with the volume turned up. This action hero is definitely invincible. I don't think he gets a scratch in the movie. There must be millions of bullets fired at him, but the people shooting seem to have really bad aim. The action sequences are so far-fetched, it's laughable (the scene with the avalanche looks great, but it's about as realistic as is the likelihood of Paulie Shore winning an Oscar). The dialogue is atrocious, and the one-liners... pathetic. To put it bluntly, "XXX" sucks. There are plenty of things wrong with it, and there's very little good I can say about it other than one key thing: it's really entertaining. This is a movie that's fun to watch, and I make no apologies for that.
I said that "XXX" is like an old school action movie, but I should also mention that it's an updated "James Bond" movie. In fact, the opening scene gives you an idea of what they think of the old "James Bond"-type superspy. Out with the old, in with the new. It's a very clever way to begin the movie, I must say.
"XXX" stars Vin Diesel, and I think it's fair to say that we officially have our newest action star. He's a decent actor, though not a great one. That's not important, though. What's important for an action star is the look, and he has the look. He's got the kind of look that girls love and guys try to emulate. What's also important for an action star is that guys have to like him. That sounds silly and obvious, but it's true. Otherwise he's just another movie star for our girlfriends to drool over and make us feel inadequate. Vin Diesel seems like a cool guy, though, so it's okay.
I remember when I saw "Saving Private Ryan." Vin Diesel had a small, but memorable role. However, to be honest with you, I didn't see a lot of potential. It wasn't until "Pitch Black" that I saw the starpower. When I saw "Boiler Room," a movie that I didn't like, I saw it again. He was really good in that one (though Ben Affleck, not undeservedly so, got all the attention in his small, but very well-acted, role). Finally came the big one, "The Fast and the Furious." With that movie, Vin Diesel got America's attention, guys and girls, and that was it. He was off and running. He followed that film with this one, and though it's not a great movie by any stretch of the imagination, it's the perfect role for him. Trust me, this is it. The guy's career is set.
The great Samuel L. Jackson is also in the movie, and though it's weird to see him in a role where he's not in the lead, or at least sharing the lead, he's perfect in this movie. He plays Vin Diesel's boss (think of the "M" character in the "James Bond" movies), and he's awesome. The character seems to have a very interesting history, and I'd love to see a prequel that explores the younger days of that character. Also in the movie is Asia Argento (pronounced AH-see-ya, not like as in the continent of Asia), and she plays the equivalent of "the Bond girl." She's the multi-talented (she's also a singer, a director, and a writer of screenplays, short stories, and even a novel) daughter of famed Italian horror director, Dario Argento. This is her first mainstream American film, and the woman is gorgeous. I don't know if she's gonna be a big star here, but she certainly has the potential to be. Marton Csokas (he played "Celeborn, Lord of the Galadhrim" in "The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring," but it was a pretty small role) plays the villain (in typical "James Bond" fashion, he wants to take over the world). He's very good, but he doesn't really stand out from other villains of that type because he plays it TOO perfectly. He's too much like all the others. He's definitely a good actor, though. Finally, the rapper Eve is in the movie. It's a very small role (even smaller than Ja Rule's role in "The Fast and the Furious"), but I liked her in the scene she was in. I get the feeling that she's gonna be in the sequel(s).
The director of "XXX" is Rob Cohen (he directed "The Fast and the Furious," so this is his second time working with Vin Diesel... he also directed "Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story," "Dragonheart," "Daylight," and "The Skulls"), and he does a good job with this movie. The real problem is the script. It was written by Rich Wilkes, who isn't known for writing masterpieces. He wrote "Airheads," wrote and directed "Glory Daze," and helped write "The Stoned Age." He also helped write "The Jerky Boys." He doesn't write classics, folks. The comic relief in this movie isn't funny at all, and the script itself is horrible. Still, the action sequences, of which there are many, are very entertaining, and Vin Diesel easily has the charisma to carry the film. Even though the script sucks, I like the concept of the movie a lot. The idea of an extreme sports nut getting into the spy business is ingenious, and I'd love to see a sequel with a script written by a great writer.
By no means is "XXX" a great movie, but did you really expect that? Did you think you'd be watching an Oscar winning film? Probably not. Sit back, enjoy, and try not to think too much. That's the way to watch this movie.
Scale of 1-10: 7