I saw "The Transporter" at a 10AM showing at Muvico Paradise. I like going to the movies at that hour, mostly because the theater is empty, but as a nice little bonus, the movie ticket costs less, too. It's even less than the regular matinee price. Unfortunately, this movie is so bad that even though I paid only $4.75 to see it, I still felt like I got ripped off.
Sometimes, I can watch bad dialogue in a movie and accept it, as long as the rest of the movie makes up for it. A good example is "Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones." But with "The Transporter," though there are some nice moments, it doesn't come near making up for the horrific dialogue. Seriously, the dialogue is a disgrace to cinema. It may very well be the worst dialogue I've ever heard outside of a movie featured on "Mystery Science Theater 3000" (WATCH OUT FOR SNAKES!).
The star of the film is a British actor named Jason Statham. Prior to this film, he was in "The One," "Snatch," and "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels." It's probably a little early to have him star in his own movie, but he proves that he's got what it takes. I was surprised to see that he has real martial arts skill (though nowhere near the skill of Jackie Chan or Jet Li). He's got this brooding quality to him that works well onscreen, and he comes across like a British version of Bruce Willis. I can easily see him becoming an action star one day. This movie proves that, but I hope that if he does star in future action films, they're a lot better than this one. His sidekick in the movie is a Taiwanese actress named Qi Shu. She's not bad, but her awful English makes her acting seem bad, and the shitty dialogue doesn't help. Most of the movies she was in before this one were erotic or martial arts flicks from Hong Kong. I don't think this movie is the beginning of her big move to American films because her accent is too thick. Maybe sometime in the future.
Luc Besson was one of the producers of this film, and he was also one of the writers. "The Professional," a movie he wrote and directed, is one of my favorite movies of all-time, and my absolute favorite action movie of all-time. After that, he directed "The Fifth Element," which I also liked, though not nearly as much. Since then, the quality of his films has gotten pretty bad. The movie he did after "The Fifth Element" was "The Messenger: The Story of Joan of Arc," and I didn't like that one at all. After that, he helped write and produce the Jet Li film, "Kiss of the Dragon," and that was another one that disappointed me. Now there's this, "The Transporter," and it may be the worst thing he's been involved in yet. I hope he gets back to being as good as he used to be, because Besson is an incredibly talented guy, and I know he can do better. The guy who wrote this movie with Besson is Robert Mark Kamen, who previously collaborated with Besson in "The Fifth Element" and "Kiss of the Dragon." On his own, he wrote "The Karate Kid," "The Karate Kid II," and "The Karate Kid III," and he also helped write "Lethal Weapon 3." I hate to say it, but the script was horrible. It had a couple of good ideas, but it's not enough.
Supposedly, two people directed this film, but only one got credited. One is Louis Leterrier, who makes his directorial debut, and the other is Corey Yuen. He directed some great Hong Kong kung-fu flicks, including a great Jet Li flick I saw a couple of years ago called "The New Legend of Shaolin." Actually, most of his movies starred Jet Li. I'll assume that since Corey Yuen is the more experienced director, he's the one who did most of the directing, and that's probably also why he's the only director credited (though Louis Leterrier DID get a credit as "Artistic Director," though I'm not sure what that means). Perhaps Leterrier was an apprectince of sorts? Anyway, this is the English-language debut for Corey Yuen, and though he's a skilled director, he does what so many others do. When it comes to fighting scenes, rather than setting the camera back and letting us see these guys do their thing, he shoots it with a series of quick cuts of close-ups, making it very difficult to see what's going on. On the plus side, I like how he directed the non-fighting action sequences. He's a gifted director.
This movie sucks, and it's a shame. Aside from a few bright spots (Jason Statham, a couple of the action sequences), this is a crap movie that you shouldn't even rent on DVD. A big disappointment.
Scale of 1-10: 3