Wow. The original version of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre," which was directed by Tobe Hooper, was creepy as all hell, but this remake... wow. Very different. I mean, yeah, the original is kinda scary, but more of a creeping dread than horror, ya know? The remake, though... wow. To put it simply, the remake of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" is an extremely grim, dark, twisted, cruel, horrific movie that's got a mean streak to it that almost makes it hard to watch. It's a very well-made film, but... wow.
Famed film critic Roger Ebert HATES this movie, and gave the film zero stars. Here are some quotes from his review:
I can't say that I disagree with any of those quotes, but I don't think that any of those things necessarily mean that the movie is bad. Roger Ebert gave four stars to "Kill Bill: Volume 1," he loved the movie. Though he explains the hypocrisy in his review of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre," it seems half-assed. I think it comes down to how much you can take. This movie is rough, it's got some crazy shit in it, but if you can handle it, you might like it. Apparently, Mr. Ebert isn't one of those people. That's okay, I still have a lotta respect for the guy.
"The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" was directed by music video director Marcus Nispel, and this is his feature film debut. He does a great job with the film, it looks amazing, and he has some cool shots in the movie. More than anything, though, he really knows how to make an audience squirm. This is an exceptional debut, and I'm sure we'll be seeing a lot more from him. The screenplay was written by Scott Kosar, and this is his debut, as well. The screenplay is loosely based on the original screenplay by Kim Henkel and Tobe Hooper (and that screenplay was even more loosely based on the story of serial killer Ed Gein). I think Scott Kosar wrote a really good screenplay, though the dialogue was pretty bad. Also, no one in 1973 said "that is SO not cool." So yeah, good script in general, bad dialogue.
The star of the film is Jessica Biel, and I think she was really good. Sure, she played the typical role of a young woman in a horror movie, but she did it well. The key role of "Leatherface" was played by Andrew Bryniarski. His main reason for being cool is that he played "Lobo" in a short student film called "The Lobo Paramilitary Christmas Special," which is based on the comic book of the same name. I've never seen it, but I really, really want to. If anyone knows how I can get a copy, please let me know!!! Anyway, he was a very convincing "Leatherface," and I hope that he gets the geek following that Gunnar Hansen and Kane Hodder have gotten since playing "Leatherface." I think he will. I mean, come on, the guy has played "Leatherface" and "Lobo"!
R. Lee Ermey plays the town Sheriff in the movie, and he's pretty damn scary. Also in the movie is David Dorfman, who was very good in "The Ring" (he was the little boy). The rest of the cast are mostly unknowns, like Jonathan Tucker, Erica Leerhsen, Mike Vogel, Eric Balfour, Lauren German, Terrence Evans, Marietta Marich, Heather Kafka, and Kathy Lamkin. They're all very good, it's a very well-acted movie. I know it's just a sleazy horror film, but the acting really was awesome. Too bad they had crappy dialogue to work with. Oh, by the way, John Larroquette returns as the narrator. Pretty cool.
The remake of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" is a surprisingly effective horror movie, and it looks great (it makes me wonder if Michael Bay, who produced the film, had any input in that regard... then again, I've seen Marcus Nispel's videos, and he kicks ass visually). Yeah, I know, it's blasphemous to remake such a great movie, but at least it was done well. Roger Ebert may not agree with me, but that's okay. I liked it. If you have the stomach for it, you might like it, too.
Scale of 1-10: 8