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REVIEWS

"GODZILLA"

Godzilla

I walked into "Godzilla" looking forward to trashing it afterwards. The creative team behind it (Roland Emmerich and Dean Devlin) last did "Independence Day," a horrible movie that I sometimes admit mildly entertained me. I refer to them as "The All-Style/No-Substance Wonder Twins" because they really know what they're doing as far as having a wide-eyed audience drop their jaws at the special effects, but they can't write a good story to save their lives. Anyway, my opinion of "Godzilla" is what I expected it to be: A horrible movie that mildly entertained me. Nah, it did a pretty good job of entertaining me.

Roland Emmerich is a good director, and I'd be interested to see a film of his based on a great script. He has a great eye for special effects, and he knows how to get a crowd going. He's got a visual style that's comparable to DuBont, Cameron, even Spielberg (I'm only talking about the visuals, people). He's definitely not a storyteller, though. He and his producer/writing partner should give their ideas to a top-notch writer and take it from there.

The cast is good, but their talents are wasted. Hank Azaria is the standout, and he should get a lotta work because of this film. Maria Pitillo was cute as Matthew Broderick's ex-girlfriend, and Broderick himself was cool, but just... there (interesting sidenote: Broderick's character's name was "Nick Tatopoulos," and the name of the guy who designed the new "Godzilla" is Patrick Tatopoulos... coincidence?).

Realistically, no one is gonna walk into "Godzilla" and expect "Citizen Kane." The special effects are outstanding, and if you don't think too much, that's good enough. But afterwards, when you start to nitpick, you realize how mindless it was, as if these guys cranked out the screenplay in under an hour. Let me ask you this: If Manhattan was evacuated (a little too smoothly, I might add), and a humongous lizard was stomping through the city tearing up buildings, what pharmacist is so dedicated to her job that she would remain open for business? It's a good thing the pharmacy was open, though, because Matthew Broderick needed to buy early pregnancy tests to see if "Godzilla" was pregnant. Yeah, I know.

I usually NEVER give anything away about a movie in my reviews, but I just had to give you a glaring example of how bad the story is. And yes, above is a picture of the actual creature which was so tightly wrapped for the past few months. But what the hell. If you're gonna see the movie, you're probably not gonna care.

Scale of 1-10: 6