Why do I sit through these shitty movies?
Actually, I had a reason to sit through "Dracula 2000," though most wouldn't think it's a very good reason. One of the actresses in it is Colleen Fitzpatrick, though you may know her as Vitamin C. That's right, the chick who sings that severely overplayed Graduation Song. Well, I kinda have a thing for her. I think she's very sexy. And no, I'm not a big fan of her music. Well, let me rephrase that. I'm not a big fan of Vitamin C's music. However, before she was Vitamin C, Colleen Fitzpatrick was the lead singer of a rock-alternative band called "Eve's Plum," and I like their music a lot. They have this great cover of Duran Duran's "Save a Prayer" that totally kicks ass. But anyway, yeah, she's why I saw this movie. And for about 1/6 of a second, you see her boobies.
Okay, let me skip over my fawning over Colleen Fitzpatrick so I can say that this movie sucks. Badly. They change Dracula's origin, and it's kinda interesting, but not interesting enough. This is a movie to avoid, folks.
So ya wanna know who's in this movie? Well, aside from the babe-a-licious Vitamin C, there's a guy I never heard of playing Dracula, and his name is Gerard Butler. He's not Dracula. Not even close. This is freakin' Dracula, ya know?!?! The king of vampires! They cast some no-name pretty boy for the role, and he just didn't do it right. I'm not saying he's a bad actor, he just isn't Dracula. There's also Jonny Lee Miller (he was married to Angelina Jolie for 4 years). He's okay, I guess. Then there's Justine Waddell as Colleen's roommate, and she's an important heroine in the movie, but I wasn't all that impressed. Colleen Fitzpatrick shoulda been the important heroine. But I may be biased. Jennifer Esposito ("Ruby" in "Summer of Sam"... she also used to be in "Spin City") and Jeri Ryan ("7 of 9" in "Star Trek: Voyager") are very sexy in the movie. Almost as sexy as Colleen Fitzpatrick. There are a few other familiar people in the movie, like Danny Masterson ("Steve" in "That 70s Show"), Lochlyn Munro ("Craig," the best friend of the two head-bobbing dweebs in "A Night at the Roxbury"), Sean Patrick Thomas (if you'll allow me to be politically incorrect for a moment, he was the black guy in "Cruel Intentions"), and Omar Epps, but who cares? Actually, Christopher Plummer (he was "Mike Wallace" in "The Insider") is very good.
The title is officially "Wes Craven Presents Dracula 2000," but Wes Craven had very little to do with it. "Dracula 2000" was directed by Patrick Lussier (editor of the "Scream" trilogy, and directed "The Prophecy III: The Ascent"). and written by Joel Soisson (helped write "The Prophecy III: The Ascent" and "Highlander: Endgame"). Sorry guys, but I didn't like this movie.
There are a
few decent parts in this movie, and even a few surprises, but for the most
part, watching this was a pretty boring experience. This was made for financial
reasons only, and art was somehow forgotten. But if Colleen Fitzpatrick
is in the sequel, I'll probably see it.
Scale of 1-10: 3