In August of 1997, I created this web site (though at the time, it was called "Joey's Webpage of Stuff He Likes"... it would be another month before I decided to focus primarily on movies). Since then, I've watched and reviewed hundreds of movies, and the worst one I've seen during this period was "Mortal Kombat: Annihilation." Though it's not my most hated movie of all-time (that dubious distinction goes to two movies, "Reality Bites" and "Empire Records," both of which I saw before creating this web site), it's definitely the worst movie I've seen since I've been reviewing movies. Not only that, it's the shortest review I've ever written, and the only movie in my web site to get a a 1 in my scale of 1-10. That is, until now. "Adam Sandler's Eight Crazy Nights" gets a 1, folks. This movie sucks. It's an abortion, an abomination, a piece of animated shit (which this movie happens to show quite a lot of). This movie may or may not be worse than "Mortal Kombat: Annihilation," but at least that one had scantily clad hotties.
A few weeks ago, I saw "Punch-Drunk Love," a movie that I consider to be Adam Sandler's best film. Most of his fans hated it or didn't see it, but me personally, I think it's his best film. I also like some of his other ones, despite their flaws, especially "The Wedding Singer" and "The Waterboy." But this one is without question the worst Adam Sandler film ever made. It's horrible. Am I making my point clear enough to you?
I laugh at shit jokes. There are several shit jokes in this movie, and they made me laugh. Call me weird, call me sick, but that kinda stuff makes me laugh. But aside from those few instances, the jokes in this movie are horrifically unfunny. The jokes suck, the musical numbers are lame, and the story is bland. Nothing in this movie is good except the shit stuff, and that's only because it appeals to my sick sense of humor. Otherwise, this movie is just boring, annoying, and unfunny.
Adam Sandler does the voice for three characters in this film. The main one is "Davey Stone," who is like your typical Adam Sandler movie character. Then there's "Whitey Duvall," a character that Adam Sandler gives a VERY irritating voice to. We're supposed to sympathize with that character, but the voice is so annoying, it's impossible to do so. He also does the voice of that character's fraternal twin sister, "Eleanore Duvall," whose voice is only a little less irritating. Jackie Titone, Adam Sandler's real-life girlfriend, does the voice for "Jennifer," the main female character. Jackie Titone had small roles in "Little Nicky," "Big Daddy" (where she was also the music assistant), and "Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo," though I don't remember her in those movies. Austin Stout, a child actor I never heard of, does the voice for "Benjamin," her son. There are also voices provides by SNL alums, Jon Lovitz, Kevin Nealon, and Rob Schneider, who's the narrator.
The story of the film was written by Adam Sandler, who's usually involved in the writing for his movies. The screenplay is by Brooks Arthur (his debut as writer, though he has quite a few credits for music producer and music supervisor in a couple of other Adam Sandler movies), Allen Covert (his debut as writer, but has acted in most of Adam Sandler's movies) & Brad Isaacs (he was a writer for "NewsRadio" and "Roseanne"). Horrible work, fellas. HORRIBLE!! As for the director, it was Seth Kearsley, who was a director for the "Dilbert" TV series. He did a decent job directing the film, but no one could save it from the pathetic script.
This is the first animated feature film from Columbia Pictures, and I'm sure they're very proud (yes, that's sarcasm). Oh, I should mention that there's a short film that precedes "Adam Sandler's Eight Crazy Nights." I forgot the title, but I know that the word "Meatball" is in it. "Meatball" happens to be the name of Adam Sandler's English Bulldog (who may have been the same one featured in "Little Nicky," though I don't know for sure). The short film is a pointless, though cute short film about a day in the life of the dog. It's totally unnecessary, but it's a lot better than the feature film that follows it.
This movie would get a 0 if not for the few shit moments that made me laugh. Shit saved this movie from being the first one in my web site to get a 0. Do not see this movie. It's really, really bad. Don't pay to see it in a theater, don't rent the DVD, don't borrow it from a friend, just avoid it and forget it exists.
Scale of 1-10: 1