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March 6, 2006

Hey Joey

I've been a frequent visitor to your site since 2001 or so, and although my preferences in film ALMOST ALWAYS clash with your own, I'd be remiss if I didn't E-Mail you to compliment the style of writing for your 2005 Oscar commentary. Writing it play-by-play (so to speak) proved more entertaining and satisfying. Reading your initial reactions (which were refreshingly candid, by the way) followed by a more thoughtful reflection on the evening is the way it should be done. In short, well done!

Also, would you kindly elaborate on why you dismissed films like "Lost in Translation" and "Sideways" as overrated? I'm also struggling to compute how films like "Garden State" and "Donnie Darko" could possibly strike anyone as anything more than turgid, melodramatic tripe. What amuses me is how both of those films had the potential to be interesting; if only so much needless effort wasn't exhausted into making the characters seem quirky and off-beat. You and I know that Ms. Portman deserves better.

Oh yes, and I was pleased to read your review of "Million Dollar Baby." It is truly the best film of the year, and among the finest cinematic achievements of the decade. For once, we agree on something.

m_marrero@bellsouth.net


Thank you so much for writing in to let me know what you thought of the Oscar commentary, and I truly appreciate the kind words. I did the same thing for the 2006 Oscar commentary, so as long as there's a way to watch and type, that's the way I'll do it. I need to thank Yvette for letting me borrow her laptop each time, and I need to thank Harry Knowles of the great Ain't It Cool News web site for the idea.

"Lost in Translation" simply bored me. I couldn't get into it, I couldn't relate to the characters, and there was little in it that appealed to me. Also, Scarlett Johansson wasn't believable as a wife (she was 18 when it was shot, and although it's not unheard of for an 18 year old to be married, she looked 16). As for "Sideways," I think it's a good movie, I just don't understand why it got all the accolades it got. I can't be THAT outta the loop, because I don't know a single person (aside from you) who likes either of those movies. In fact, most people I know absolutely hate one, the other, or both.

"Donnie Darko" is a movie I love, but I can understand why you don't like it. The movie is weird, it makes little sense, and it seems like an excuse to be pretentious and artsy... but I still like it. I feel the same way about "Eraserhead" and "2001."

With "Garden State," we'll have to agree to disagree. I like quirky and off-beat (case in point; my favorite director is Tim Burton), so it appeals to me.

We agree on the greatness of "Million Dollar Baby," so at least we have that.
:-)


Do you know if Jennifer Coolidge ever showed those gorgeous breasts of hers in a movie or photo shoot? Thanks.

rdefran@msn.com


I couldn't think of any off the top of my head, so I looked up Jennifer Coolidge (also known as "Stifler's Mom") in the Mr. Skin web site (his web site allows you to type in an actress' name, and then it lists all of her nude scenes, and even scenes where she's in a bikini or wearing only underwear), and she's not even listed. I don't think it's because she's not famous enough, because there are a lot of obscure actresses listed. It's probably because she hasn't done any nude scenes.

I'm sorry I couldn't be more help, but hopefully my telling you about Mr. Skin's web site will make you feel better.


Joey,

I read your commentary "Loud Assholes in Movie Theaters," and I'm right there with you. In fact, I started a pseudo-satirical site geared towards stopping at least one form of aggravation.

Please feel free to check out http://www.cinemasilence.com. It's a side project and clearly in its infancy, but I'd like to know what you think.

Dave


I LOVE IT!!!

All of you reading this should check out the web site. The t-shirts there are a must-have for people who are sick of loud assholes in movie theaters.


Buddy, you have the shittiest taste in movie if you don’t like "Van Wilder." You have to have a good sense of humor to like that movie, and YOU DON’T. Please delete your web site, 'cause it sucks shit. I'M SERIOUS!!!!!

Rick Hornblower


I'm confused. I liked "Van Wilder," and I thought it was hilarious. Are you sure you read the review?


Hi Joey,

Greetings from New Zealand. I was pleased that I re-discovered your excellent movie reviews and wondered what sort of timeframe you hope to achieve between movies being released and your synopsis being up on the web site.

A question or two.

Have you considered a colour scheme for your web site other than red on black? I have discovered that I can have some respite from the red onslaught by highlighting the text before reading to have the alternative of white on dark blue.

Secondly, how would you feel about allowing a review forum (not yet constructed) to use your movie reviews to elicit comment on newly released movies with full credit and links to your web site? It's just an idea at this stage and naturally you would be able to extract any comments to publish back on your web site if they were of any value. Any web site would be non-profit other than perhaps some Google ads and local NZ ads when visitor numbers were sufficient. The most popular web sites seem to attract young people (12-20) and mostly female over here in NZ.

I will totally understand if you want to maintain your reviews in one place but would consider it an honour to be able to incorporate your most excellent, honest, and knowledgeable movie commentary on a local Forum.

Cheers,
David Tudor-Cole (E-Mail withheld by request)

There's something about getting an E-Mail from someone in another country that totally thrills me, so thanks for making me smile, David!

My timeframe between a movie being released and my review being in my site is usually a couple of days. I usually see the movie on Saturday (though for BIG movies, like "Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith" or "Batman Begins," I take the day off work and see it on opening day), and then I write the review on Sunday. My web site is usually updated late night Sunday/early morning Monday (in my time zone, Eastern Standard Time). I would love to be able to have the review up on opening day, but I'm not a professional critic, so I gotta wait to see the movie when it's in theaters like everyone else. Also, I do have to work for a living.

Regarding the admittedly awful color scheme of my web site, that will change soon. I've been wanting to do it for a while, but I didn't wanna do it till I got my new computer (I plan on finally buying a PowerMac... I use Windows begrudgingly because it's cheaper, but it's time to get the computer I REALLY want). As soon as I get my new Mac, I'll finally begin work on a complete revamp of this web site. I've been hearing complaints about the color scheme for years, so that's definitely gonna be changed.

As for the review forum that you're working on, I'd be honored if you included my reviews. All I ask (though you already said you'd include it) is full credit with links to my site. You do that, and I'm happy. I'm very flattered that you think my reviews are worthy, so thank you very much!


Alright listen, im gona try to say this calmly.
First of all you make a lot of statmenets that you clearly have no clew to what the f*ck your talking about. "Their doing heroin in Requim of a dream" ITS F*CKING SPEED. If they were doing heroin they would be in 1 room the whole move. Allso heroin tends to be brownish
Allso you say that weed doesnt kill anybody directly, alright thats your oppinion, but if you really look in to it and u do the math at how many ppl smoke pot and f*ck up their lives eg.school every day, they get dead end jobs etc etc, yah they dont die but their lives are a mess. Allso weed can cause Psycosis. Its just the way you say things you seem SOooo shure of yourself when in reality your wrong half the time, So try concidering chainging a few of your statements.

Ty


Wow, you really didn't like my review of "Requiem for a Dream," huh?

Was it speed they were doing? Shows how much I know. I have to admit to being totally ignorant when it comes to drugs. I can't argue with you there, I've never done drugs. Hell, I've never even seen the real stuff except for marijuana.

Speaking of marijuana, it's not something I've ever smoked, nor will I. Still, I honestly don't think it's as bad as tobacco cigarettes. Also, as a friend of someone with Multiple Sclerosis, I've read up on it, and it really is helpful when used for medicinal purposes.

I don't really know what else to tell you. Asshole.


I agree with what you wrote in "The Perfect Movie Theater," it would be great to have ushers, but I disagree with the idea of dumping babies and young children with unknown babysitters. This would be very upsetting to many children.

Like you, I don't like the idea of babies and children crying during movies. I think parents need to accept the idea that if they have young children and don't have a trusted relative or babysitter to be with the kids, they need to not go the movie. These are adults. They are old enough to know you can't have it all -- or at least not all at one time. You take one road, that means you don't get what's on the other road. That's just reality -- just grown up life. They can wait for the movie to come out on video if need be.

The idea of parents indulging themselves, even if it means dropping their young children off with someone who they don't know, who don't know their children, seems obscene. I would never do it with my own kids.

Cynthia


You make valid points. I don't have kids, so when I write stuff like that, it comes from a place of ignorance. The biggest problem really is that many parents aren't like you. So many of them are irresponsible, inconsiderate, and just plain thoughtless. Director Steven Soderbergh's recent film "Bubble" was the first ever to be released on DVD and cable on the same day as the film's theatrical release. Although the film didn't do well, that strategy might be a good idea for those in the situation we're talking about. Of course, theater owners are none too pleased about what Soderbergh is trying to do. Then again, if they did a better job of ensuring a quiet moviegoing experience, such a measure would be unnecessary.


Just read your "reviews" (pff!) of both of "House of 1000 Corpses" and "The Devil's Rejects" (I'm not a "fan" of your site, came upon it purely by accident on Yahoo). You wouldn't know a horror flick from a comedy if it came up and bit you in the ass. "Oh, it's not funny...Oh, it's not scary." Actually, dimwit, it's both. The scene where "Captain Spaulding" awakens from the dream/nightmare to find himself in bed with the fat Mex broad was funny as all get-out -- to those of us with a sense of humor, that is. After that, the movie was pure horror unleashed -- to those of us with a sense of the macabre, that is. EVERYONE I know who has seen it says it's the scariest horror movie (with the possible exception of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" remake) they've ever seen. But, I guess you know better, huh?

Like I say, don't quit your day job -- Mickey D's needs ya.

Bob Hoffman


What's truly scary is that you and everyone you know considers "House of 1000 Corpses" and "The Devil's Rejects" to be one (or two) of the scariest movies ever. What's truly funny is that you actually wrote "fat Mex broad" in your E-Mail.

I made it pretty clear in the reviews of those films that although I didn't like the movies, I had respect for them. It's not like I ripped into the movies, totally trashing them as if I didn't give a shit about what went into making those films. I didn't like them, but I appreciated them.

Although I'm a purist and I love the original, I think that the remake of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" was excellent.

I have no intention of quitting my day job. My web site is something I do outta love, not money. I've worked on my web site since 1997, and it doesn't pay me a single penny. Of the two banners I have, one is a favor for a friend and the other is just a promotional tool (a random film-related web site puts a banner ad of my site on theirs, and a random film-related web site gets a banner ad on my site).

I don't like McDonald's.

Okay, I think I covered everything.

By the way, you're an asshole, but at least you spell better than Ty.